these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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