I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
