So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I want is dick and wine.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
