Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
