Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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