so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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