ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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