Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
