you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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