So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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