I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
