Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
