Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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