yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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