I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
