Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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