Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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