Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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