Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
