it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
