There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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