And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
