If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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