She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
