wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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