you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
