I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
