Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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