I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
