is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
