): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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