For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
