false alarm. still invincible.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
