theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
