There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
