He is an equal opportunity slut.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
