Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize