sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Porn is love you can see.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
