More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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