I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
