Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Randomize
