you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
