How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Randomize
