Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
