i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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