big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
