idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
40s are totally the cure
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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