i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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