I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
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Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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