After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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