i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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