She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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