so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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