I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
