Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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