I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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