i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
