Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
