every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
