this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
