dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
