Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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