Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
